boardom

class is so horribly long and just draining whatever that's left of me. friends please go online to entertain me or something. but i'm glad to have poeple that make (school) life like sooo much better, exponentially. like diebi -touches thighs- she brings such joy to my life. thankyor thankyor. its crazy how i only have classes on 3 days but i have to go back to school almost everyday, including saturday. and i want to shooooop, i haven't shopped since a month ago, when i was heavily in debt haha. anddd i haven't really found a CCA that really draws me to it, such that i will want to attend the trainings/meetings and just commit to something. and i really want to have a cca and being in a team again or just having fun and relaxing, or learning something new. and i want to do OCIP, but we haven't really found something that has good weather/shorter duration/meaningful/impactful not like ecosystem or something hahaha.

okay this post is very pointless and uninteresting. gonna prepare for some 2 minute presentation now. ho well. skype with everyone soon!

empty

u s - us separated

It's so difficult just retelling an incident. hurriedly attaches pictures/scan articles/links/youtube videos to make a point. how is it possible to convey say, retardness via emails? or who am i to share my self-created lousy jokes with.

I'm looking through pictures to select once again.. choosing the best memories with a certain someone. as I look back and see so many parts of my life, in these little bits and pieces, knowing that every one of my friends hold some of these little pieces. and i realised so many walked in and out of my life, these very people I don't keep in contact with anymore, who were once close, or whom I see on a regular basis. Their smiles and the joy and the story behind every picture and the reason for the poses, i seem to forget. and I can't be walking side by side with those so dear to me now, exploring new places, having proper conversations, stoning together, all the little things that define the friendship, define us. the history goes waaaaaaaay back.

How is it i forget how i felt about something so impactful then, something i felt so strongly about, something that shaped my personality and perspective. i seem to lose these feelings so easily. such emotions and excitement and passion seem to diminish over time. it wasn't that long ago.

heat conductors

School is starting and it's not hopeful. The two camps did make me feel SLIGHTLY better about school and the people and I meet really genuine and sweet people, and of course the not so sincere who are just there to socialise, network, impress and look good. It's sooooo gross to want to be known as someone of such character. There's an increasing need to be more independent, keep my thoughts inside, keep an open mind, be more accepting and survive. Hopefully nobody does lose themselves in this pursuit of.. fame and what not?

and I cannot read people at all. They always turn out different from the initial impressions and vibes. Can no longer trust, such intuitions. Second-rated, overrated, undeserving

SOS (school officially sucks/started) okay, a little too early for this

we are all fighting time, distance, darkness, destiny, the unknown

look at the bigger picture, it's a losing battle against life

new identity

I need a getaway, away from the psychotic person that is tormenting me.

I feel like a puppet, being controlled, being watched, being preyed on.

I need to leave this terrible life now, I can't remember how my life was like back then.

It's been way too long, how foreign.

Somebody hire a hitman for me please.

Just make him stop this nonsense already.

I just want to be happy and I desperately need my freedom back.

Running out of ideas as i'm running away, he's catching up on me..